Apply for a Scholarship

Due to my unseemly fortunate situation I qualify for several scholarships this semester. My failure to find work all summer has put me in the category of 'experiencing extenuating financial hardship'. My 4.0 GPA puts me in the 'good marks' group. My mom jeans put me in the 'aged' category.

I am told most student do not apply for scholarships, even though they are tax free. Last year I earned $1000 in scholarships. which is like working 85 hours at retail job or one lap-dance with Dino. This year I can apply for over $15,000 worth. The application takes about 16 hours to complete including all the essay jokes and puns. If I don't get the scholarship maybe I'll get hired as a speech writer.

I can also apply for under the 'community contribution' due to my services in the area and at school. Turns out, it does pay to change diapers. I also re-qualified under the single parent status since my 19 year old himself is entering post secondary this fall (this in turn supports 'the extenuating financial hardship' category). The adhd diagnoses allows me to apply for additional supports, a new i-phone however doesn't qualify.

My essays are a bit unraveling as to get my 'situation' across in words reads like a list of what to avoid when recovering from open heart surgery. Surprise dental work, getting lost in traffic and the baking soda diet have not made this years financial summer a kind one.
I'd rather submit a picture. I'd pick one of me working studiously in my 5'x4' home office, perched on a teetering frayed cane stool, knees touching the desk top as I slurp on a Mr Freeze which has given me an ice cream headache signified by the clutching of my right front hairline. In the background they would see my motivational poster 'Up with People', all of my pens, my Tony Robbins CD collection and lastly but not least my dancing eyes.